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have to do a point-by-point rebuttal. Many decisionsmaybe even mostare made in spite of all the negatives identified and discussed. Brace yourself and wait out the recitation. It's possible, even likely, to lose the small battles at several points and still win the war. |
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Tip 333: Guard against your own resistance to others' comments. |
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Do you tune out others while they're still talking and begin to prepare your rebuttal? Are you pouncing on other people's ideas immediately after they're stated? If so, you're not giving those ideas a fair hearing. Even if you've heard the ideas before and know where the person seems to be going with the comment, pouncing too soon conveys a closed mind and an unwillingness to hear others out carefully. Is the pace of the discussion getting faster and faster? If so, the other person, you, or both of you are resisting, not thinking. |
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Tip 334: Don't censor emotional comments out of hand as irrelevant. |
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Someone may raise a question that you do not believe is germane to the decision. Don't rush through the concern "to get back to the real issue." Some concerns may not be logically relevant, but they may be emotionally relevant. For example, the marketing people may bring up a gripe about the way the customer-service people handle angry callers. That issue may have little bearing on how the marketing group pays for long-distance service but may make a big difference in whether the customer-service people keep their jobs. What is relevant varies according to the purpose of all concerned. |
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Tip 335: Agree before you disagree. |
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To avoid the appearance of not listening to points others raise, hear them out, pause, and then agree with at least something they've said: "That is a related issue, all right. The first thing, however, we need is . . ." or "You have a point. Do you think that should be our primary criteria?" or "You're right about that. I wonder if . . ." They'll tag you as a reasonable, flexible person. |
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