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One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening.
anonymous |
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Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak. . . .
New Testament, James 1:19 |
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Listening means the difference between passing or failing a test, making or losing a sale, getting or losing a job, motivating or discouraging a team, mending or destroying a relationship. But listening has gotten a bum reputation as a passive state. Not so. Listening is simply the precursor of successful activity. |
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Tip 430: Decide that you want to listen. |
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Many people listen poorly simply because they have no intention of listening well. They're preoccupied with themselves. They're too busy talking so that they can feel understood. They're focused on getting what they want done or heard; they have no time to be interrupted by someone talking to them. |
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Parents, teachers, and other authority figures confuse us with other poor listening habits and clues. These adults send us wrong messages about listening with comments like, "Don't pay any attention to her." "Just look away and he'll leave you alone." "Just pretend you don't notice and he'll stop." "You can't believe everything you hear.'' "Don't let the bully know it bothers you." "Forget what he says; he didn't mean ithe's just angry." "He just talks a good fightblows smoke. Nothing will come of it." "Tell her what happened. If she doesn't listen, that's her problem." |
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No wonder kids doubt their ears and eyes and can't decide whether to listen or not. |
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Have you ever heard people say they don't have time for somethinggolf, or walkathons, or church, or dinner with a friend? Not true. We all have the same 24 hours each day; what they mean is that something isn't important enough to them yet to make time for it. |
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The same is true for listening. We will find ourselves poor listeners until we make up our minds we want to become good listeners. Listening requires conscious effort and a willing mind. It's a decision to take an action. |
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What's the payoff? Listening keeps you informed, up to date, and out of trouble. It increases your impact when you do speak. It gives you a negotiating edge, power, and influence. It makes other people love you. |
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Listening is a gift to yourself and to other people. |
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