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way the President is handling the economy." "What do you know about nuclear energyhave you given it any thought for heating your home?" "How about employee morale around here?" |
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Tip 474: Avoid a cliché question if you don't want a cliché answer. |
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Don't blame others if they're not talkative if the only stimulating questions you use are clichés. "How's it going?" usually elicits a response like, "Okay, I guess." The same is true for these clichés: "How are you? Is it morning?" "Did you have a nice weekend?" "What's up?'' |
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Tip 475: Ask even if you don't expect an answer. |
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We learn this trick from reporters and lawyers. Even if you don't expect an answer, you can ask a question just to see how the other person reacts and how he or she refuses to answer. The attitude revealed may be as important as the information released. You get information without getting a formal answer. This technique can be useful in negotiating and learning where the limits of information exchange fall. |
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Tip 476: Act as though you expect an answer. |
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It's amazing how many people pose question after question in their conversations, as if they were rhetorical, and never pause for an answer. When you ask a question and then rush ahead with an answer yourself or move on to the next topic, the other person notices the pattern and decides you don't intend to take any answer seriously. Nervousness also plays a big part in someone's talking right through where the pauses should go. Be aware of that habit; ask, pause, wait. |
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Tip 477: Make sure your body language encourages an answer. |
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Have you ever watched someone toss out a question as though it were a green light for another person to proceed with the conversation while the questioner attended to something more importantlike the papers on his or her desk or the conversation going on beyond the talker's shoulder? |
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Your body language either supports or undermines the intention of your question. The responder needs some sort of support: a nod of agreement or a follow-up question that demonstrates you have listened to the first |
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