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if the X rays indicate Y, I'm going to have to send you to a podiatrist for more testing." You don't respect the doctor any less for setting the boundaries; if anything, you're glad he or she is honest about the limits of expertise. You may have similar limitsbecause of a lack of expertise or simply because you prefer not to share it. Say so. "In this meeting, I'd rather not go into issues of costs. I'm here to respond to technical questions about how the system works." And if a question about cost surfaces later, stick to your limits: "As I mentioned earlier, I am not prepared to discuss costs." People will respect your boundaries if you yourself do. |
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Tip 540: Before giving any answer, consider the costs and opportunities. |
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When your answer may be crucial to your future, run through a mental checklist: What prompts this question? Do I fully understand the question? What am I risking with an answer? How clear do I want to be? What information should I share? What information would be best to withhold? How will my tone affect the response? What does the body language of the asker communicate? What do I want to communicate with my own body language? Which is the most important in this responsestyle or substance? What goals do I want to reach with my answer? What opportunities does answering this question present for me? All of these questions should flash through your mind in 1 to 2 seconds as you prepare to answer. That brief pause can be the difference between results or regrets. |
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Tip 541: Use verbal stalls with care. |
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As a lecturer or instructor, you may have learned to reinforce questioners or give yourself thinking time with comments such as "That's a good question" or "I'm glad you brought up that point." But when talking one on one, these comments may sound patronizing. And comments such as "As I mentioned earlier today in the staff meeting, . . ." can sound like a verbal slap on the hand and a reprimand for not listening. They destroy rapport with your listener. Be silent with a reflective gaze rather than stall with judgmental phrases that sound as though you're about to hedge, make something up, or respond with great reluctance. |
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Tip 542: Remind yourself that you don't have to answer every question. |
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Growing up, we had to answer every question the classroom teacher asked, and that feeling of "must" still hangs on. There are several ways you can |
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