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Tip 602: Lead the person to do a self-critique. |
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When we train a participant in one of our oral presentations workshops, we like to lead them through the process of self-critique: What did you think went well in your presentation? What didn't go as well as planned? If you could present this information a second time, what would you do differently? Finally, what would you like me (as instructor) to watch for and offer more critique on during your next performance? It always amazes me how accurate self-critiques are. And what's more, people believe their own critiques more strongly than they believe those from the instructor. |
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Try using the same principle by leading your employees to do self-critiques of their performance on particular projects. |
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Tip 603: Assume some of the blame yourself. |
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If you can do so honestly and if you have the ego-strength to meet the other person more than halfway, this approach will certainly generate a welcome response. "I certainly can share in any blame for the vendor-selection process; I know I've been traveling a lot lately and probably was not around enough to give you opportunity to bounce ideas off me for issues that affected both our departments" or "Maybe I was too fuzzy in the last staff meeting about exactly what I planned to do with those printouts. In any case, they're not set up in a usable format." |
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Let the receivers of the criticism save face by your sharing any blame that needs to be assessed. It takes the pressure off them to defend themselves and make excuses. |
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Tip 604: Substitute problem solving for criticism when possible. |
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Offering to approach the situation as if it were a problem that merits cooperation shows a cooperative, positive attitude. Confirm that you have mutual goals, and spend your time developing alternatives to get what you both want. Your conversations will probably end up with transitions like these: "So what are the alternatives?" "What suggestions do you have for . . . ?" "I'm open to suggestions." |
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Tip 605: Couch your criticism as a request for help. |
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This approach is most effective with bosses or peers. Outline what effect a certain behavior is having on you and what the consequences are, and ask |
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