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Tip 701: Bring success stories to the table. |
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As you begin discussions about conflicts or needs, suggest that both of you relate ways you've seen other people solve the same problem or conflict you're facing. Tossing out these stories as alternatives offers a starting point for your own situation in a "safe" waysharing them reminds both people that success is possible. |
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Tip 702: Draw a definite distinction between wanting to agree and having to agree. |
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Make it clear to the other personand then remind yourself frequentlythat you want to come to agreement, but never that you must come to agreement. Any time you feel (or signal the other person) that you absolutely must make a deal, you'll obviously be at a disadvantage. In fact, you may start a rock slide. |
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Tip 703: Be the caller when negotiating by phone. |
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As the initiator of a discussion, you have the edgenotes in front of you, forethought, control of timing. The person called has to play catch-up, and if they're not good "on their feet," they'll often fumble when caught off guard by a phone call. |
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Tip 704: Negotiate as a team, not individuals working on a team. |
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Another negotiating team may try to divide yours by addressing remarks to individuals separatelyusually the ones who seem less knowledgeable and capable. In other words, they'll make eye contact with one individual and ask for a concession; that person will respond by agreeing with what they want. Then they'll select another individual and ask for a concession to which that person also agrees. In other words, they begin to negotiate with people as individuals rather than with the spokesperson, usually the most articulate, knowledgeable, and skilled of the group. |
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Don't let this divide-and-conquer routine work against you. If your team is negotiating on any matter, appoint a spokesperson to do the talking. When other team members want to contribute to the discussion, they can write that spokesperson notes or take breaks to discuss the issues among the group. |
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