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Tip 835: Write down the insult or hostile remark. |
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Borrow the idea from your customer-service hassles. When hotel employees are discourteous or make poor judgment calls, you can always ask their names. They'll know you intend to write a letter to their supervisor. You can use the same idea with colleagues. When they make derogatory remarks, make a point to write them down in their presenceeven asking them to repeat the remarks so you can record them correctly. If they ask why, make some flippant comment like: "They're a new chapter in my book." "I keep score." "I'm going to send them off for a contest." Whatever the remark, they'll immediately begin to see visions of HR people swarming around their desk. People think hard before "going on record" with insults. |
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Tip 836: Respond only to the surface meaning and words. |
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Pretend you didn't even "get it." Ignore the tone and respond only to the words. |
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Insult: "You're such an innocent. How do you think we win these contractsby saying 'pretty please'?" |
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Response: "I don't know for sure what customers would attribute our winning tolow price or quality products, I'd guess." |
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Insult: "You act like this is your second month at workwhere was your head during the last staff meeting when this was discussed?" |
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Response: "That was probably brought up when I had to take that extended phone call." |
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Insult: "My goshdid you call every restaurant in the yellow pages to find a place this dumpy for Sam's retirement luncheon?" |
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Response: "Actually, I called only three." |
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Insult: "You're not the only person in this office who uses this lunchroom, you know." |
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Response: "Oh, I thought I was." |
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Tip 837: Twist the assumptions. |
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That is, when the insult implies an assumption for its point, exchange the assumption for one of your own. |
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Insult: "At this rate, the project is going to take all day." |
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Response: "Did you intend to work even slower?" |
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