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routine. But this one was not. You personalized your comments to each of the officers and you remarked about what they had done to deserve the promotion. That took time and preparation. I could tell it was a meaningful ceremony for the officers involved and their families." |
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The general smiled broadly. "Thanks for saying that. That'll make my day." He paused. "In fact, that's good enough to make my year." |
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Superiors seldom hear praise. If you mean it, say it. |
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Tip 850: Watch one-up praise. |
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A person who offers praise may appear to be placing himself or herself in a one-up position. For example, this comment delivered to a speaker after a presentation: "I enjoyed your presentation. You did a nice job in comparing one investment to another. I think you mentioned all the relevant tax laws most people need to concern themselves with." By its implication, that compliment says that the giver is in a position to judge the thoroughness or accuracy of what the speaker said. In a similar situation, take care not to word your compliment so that you are elevating your own expertise. A better phrasing of the previous compliment might have been: "I enjoyed your presentation. Your comparison of investments was intriguing, and your insights on the tax laws were some I've never heard shared before today." |
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Tip 851: Establish your credibility as a praise giver. |
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All praise is not equal. You can destroy the value of the praise you give if the receiver doesn't respect you, if he or she doesn't consider you in a position to judge. Other ways to damage your ability to praise include giving it lavishly, in the wrong place, at the wrong time, for the wrong purpose, with the wrong wording. Praise in and of itself is not "automatically" a motivator. |
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Tip 852: Be aware that the absence of praise can mean criticism. |
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If the boss customarily reinforces jobs well done with compliments and suddenly has nothing specifically positive to say, a staffer may fill in the blanks. "She didn't say anything about the brochure design. She must not have liked it." |
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