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shyness, evasiveness, dishonesty, disrespect, disdain, or boredom. The rules of eye contact vary greatly. |
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Tip 1006: Determine if questions about personal life are appropriate. |
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In the United States, business acquaintances may ask general questions about one's personal life: "Do you play much golf?" "Does your family live in this part of the country?" In some African cultures, even on first meeting, it is appropriate to ask specific, personal questions: ''Do you have boys or girls?" "Is your father rich or poor?" In Arab countries, such family or personal matters are totally off limits to business acquaintances. |
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Tip 1007: Treat silence as both golden and guarded. |
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The Japanese feel comfortable with silence and discreetness, particularly with confidential information. They particularly admire someone who gives careful thought before answering questions or making a point. Americans cover silences as if unwelcomed and unwarranted. They admire fluent speakers who move quickly from idea to idea without pause in an organized manner. Americans talk to resolve differences; Japanese keep silent to avoid differences. Americans talk to share feelings; Japanese keep quiet to share feelings. For Americans, silence represents a breakdown in communication; for the Japanese, silence represents harmony in communication. |
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Tip 1008: Identify politeness either as a mask or a goodwill gesture. |
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In some cultures, people bow, smile, nod, and agree so as not to offend. Courtesy may cover very different feelings of estrangement and formality. In other cultures, people are not overly concerned with offending; therefore, a show of courtesy generally indicates goodwill. |
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Tip 1009: Verify that stories you tell illustrate shared values. |
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If you're trying to make either a serious point or a humorous one, verify that your illustration does in fact make your point. For example, if you tell a story describing an "absent-minded" professor, you may intend the professor to be the butt of the joke and your listener may revere the professor because of his age. In a meeting you may relate the length of time it took a customer to make a buying decision. Your telling may imply time wasted, while the listener infers valued time in a thorough analysis. |
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