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A husband says to his new bride, "Honey, I really want a large family."
She looks a little apprehensive. "Uhhh, I was thinking small."
He says, "But large families have more fun. Kids help each other out. They learn to give and take. And sacrifice for each other. And holidays are so much fun with a houseful."
She says, "Yeah, but small families are nice, too. The relationships are closer, more intimate. And the kids have to get alongthere's nobody else to run to. And you can afford to give them a better education. All the advantages."
He says, "I'm disappointed that you feel that way."
"Me, too. I . . . didn't know you felt that strongly. I guess we should have discussed how many kids we wanted before we got married."
The next day on the golf course he complains that his wife won't agree to three kids. She calls her mother to confide that two kids is all she can handle. Two? Three? One extra toothbrush between a large family and a small one? Large and small are relative terms.
Prefer concrete words to abstract ones.
Tip 114: Beware of misleading with connotation and denotation.
Is a "feisty" woman powerful or amusing? Is a "hulk of a man" intimidating, forceful, or just big? Is an "adequate performance" worth a raise or does it need improvement? The denotation of a word is the dictionary definition. The connotation of a word is the associated meaning given in context and with culture.
Between denotative and connotative definitions, there's a world of misinterpretation and swayed opinion. Of great concern to social scientists is that the use or misuse of a single word can change the entire results of an opinion poll. If you intend to lead others to your way of thinking subtly, select your words carefully. If you prefer a neutral opinion, select the denotative word or phrase.
Denotation
Connotation
house
home, hovel
price
investment, fee
agreement
opportunity, contract
low cost
a real value, cheap
temporary
alternative, makeshift
strong
tenacious, obstinate
initial
pioneering, primitive
odorous
fragrant, foul-smelling
change
stimulate, agitate

 
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