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names may set up a formal, impersonal tone to some people. Far more women are called by their first names than men, particularly comparing those with titles such as "Dr." It is generally up to the people of higher status/position to give permission to lower-status individuals to use their first names. They are announcing equality, an act that by its very nature underscores their power and status. |
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To know others' preferences, listen to how they answer their own telephones: First name only? Last name only? Both first and last? If still unsure, ask them politely what they prefer. Err on the side of formality. |
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Tip 136: Recognize name-dropping as an attempt to gain status. |
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Dropping names of the great, the near-great, the powerful and the near-powerful sends a message to listeners that the speaker is making a stab at gaining admiration and increasing his or her own stature by association. It's really a self-belittling move. |
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Tip 137: Avoid sexist language. |
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Eliminate nouns that are gender-specific and metaphors understood primarily by only one gender: for example, football analogies to women or ballet analogies to men. Use police officer rather than policeman, flight attendant rather than stewardess, chair rather than chairman. All colonels are not male, and all secretaries are not female. |
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Suggestions: (1) Prefer speaking or writing the plural rather than to omit half the human race. Not: "An employee will need his badge to get into the building." But: "Employees will need their badges to get into the building." (2) Alternate references between the genders. (3) Omit the pronouns altogether: "An employee will need a badge to get into the building." |
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Tip 138: Know the value of understatement. |
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When you overstate the case, others start digging for the gaps. If you don't believe it, notice your reaction the next time someone says to you, "The most bizarre thing just happened. Hilarious. You won't believe it. This person walks in and . . ." The typical reaction after such a lead-in is a letdown. A that-wasn't-so-funny/bizarre reaction. We're set up for disappointment. |
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As a speaker, I'd much rather the introducer understate the benefits he or she expects my audience to gain than to overstate them. Otherwise, I'm traveling uphill. |
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