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it must have been Tuesday because that's the day I went by to feed the horsesone of Harold's boys came over, or maybe it was his cousin. Name's Christopher. About six years old. And Harold had told him not to cross the street by himself. Of course, he plays out in the front all the time, but there's usually somebody at home to watch him. Well, they weren't bidding much on my horses that day. . . ." You get the picture. When you know a great deal about your subject, it's tempting to continue to toss in tidbits, but remember that people follow a straight path easier than a circuitous one. Where do you want to lead them? Go straight there. If they want an excursion later, they'll ask. |
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Tip 144: Self-edit your "Thinking" details. |
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Some people talk through details to analyze a situation and by the time they come to the end of their discussion, they know what they think. The problem with that process is that others may not want to follow the same thinking route. They typically prefer that you cut to the chase. |
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Maybe the habit of dumping the details comes from being graded on the curve in the school system. The more students recite or write, the greater the evidence they've read the assignment and the better the resulting grade. Not so in conversation. |
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Tip 145: Unwind motormouths. |
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When people who have a reputation for long-windedness ask, "Do you have a minute?" agree with their phrasing: "Yes, I do have about three minutes before I have to make a call/attend a meeting/get back to my project." You've put them on notice that your time is not unlimited while saying "yes" to them. |
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A second technique involves continually bringing them back to their point. "So what was it you wanted to tell me about the insurance form?" "I'm not following what this has to do with the issue of X." "So, can you help me on the Y problem?" |
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Finally, you can always interrupt their monologue with a brief question that elicits a one-word answer from them. Then when they interrupt themselves to answer your question, you have regained the floor. |
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Tip 146: Use the one-minute gag rule. |
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If you speak for longer than one minute at a turn without giving the other person a chance to respond, chances are great that you're becoming long- |
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