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Tip 241: When you're caught not listening, give a keep-talking nudge. |
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If you let your mind wander and the other person discovers you're not listening, you will offend. When you suddenly notice the other person has stopped talking and is waiting for your response, give the person a nudge until you can get reoriented: "So then . . . ?" or "I'm not too knowledgeable on that, as I said earlier . . ." or "So you mean that . . . ?" or "Could you repeat that?" or ''I'm sorryI didn't understand what you were asking." or "Would you say it another way?" or "I missed your point, I'm sorry." Often people will continue talking and give you a clue where they were. |
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If that doesn't work, try the straightforward approach. "I'm sorry, I missed your last comment" or "It's so noisy in here I'm having a hard time hearing you" or "I'm sorry, you lost me. I'm still thinking about what you said a minute ago when you mentioned . . ." or "I'm lost; something you said a moment ago made me think of . . ." |
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Tip 242: Avoid current stock fillers. |
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Watch peppering your talk with stock fillers such as "That's incredible." "Awesome." "All right!" "Thumbs up." "No kidding." "You don't say." "Follow what I'm saying?" "You with me?" |
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Tip 243: Unwind a nonstop speaker with a popquiz. |
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When you want to stop someone's monologue, break in with two or three short-answer questions. You don't seem rude because you're asking the speaker to keep talking with questions that signal interest. But the idea is to take control. When the person stops the monologue to give one- or two-word answers to your specific questions on the subject, you have an opportunity to regain the floor and redirect the conversation or end it. |
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Tip 244: Encourage people to continue what they were saying before being interrupted. |
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They'll love you for saying, "Please continue what you were telling me." "Please finish your story; you had me intrigued." "So back to what you were saying . . . " "Don't stop now; I'm just starting to understand your point." Such encouragement is an invitation few can resist and most remember forever. |
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