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criterion for custody. Many judges also work under the assumption that young children (seven and under) belong with their mothers. |
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Will a judge ever admit to a bias? No. But most lawyers will tell you that if you're a father seeking custody, you'll probably need a good reason why the mother should not have custody. |
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Should you throw in the towel then? Consult with an attorney first. |
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What about other biases? Years on the bench, of course, can make one skeptical. Some judges have heard umpteen tales of the business that fails, miraculously, right before the divorce action, and a few years of seasoning means that they've seen the couple who's spent $100,000 a year while reporting income of $20,000 and even less. Does this mean you're doomed if your business really has taken a bad turn, or you had no idea what your spouse reported as income? |
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No; but when you appear before a judge, you must be thoroughly prepared to prove your case. |
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Trial by Fire: When You're the Witness |
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As much as you might wish the witness seat would open up to swallow you whole, you will need to deal with the opposing attorney the best you can. What can you do when you're looking at a lawyer, but you feel as if you're peering into the mouth of a shark? Some pointers follow: |
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1. Take your time before answering questions. Think before you speak, and give your lawyer time to object to the question. |
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2. Do not let the lawyer get you riled. Control your emotions. |
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3. If you feel faint, tell the judge you need a break. |
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4. If there's water nearby, pour yourself a cup or ask the judge for some. Do not be shy about making these requests. Just be sure not to interrupt anyone else, unless it's an emergency. |
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5. Keep shaky hands inside the witness box so that the lawyer won't know what effect he's having on you. |
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6. Look at the judge, at the back of the room, or at your lawyer rather than at the lawyer who is questioning you. |
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7. Start crying. The judge is sure to call a recess, and you'll have a chance to pull yourself together. If you're a man, you probably think you'd never do that, but nothing will bring a divorce trial to a halt as quickly as a man crying, particularly if he does it while he's testifying about how much he loves his children. |
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