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Take the case of Patty and John. When they married, both were teachers. Three years later, when Vivian was born, Patty stopped working. Patty and John decided she would go back to work in four years; but then they had two more children, and four years became eight years. When all three children finally were in school, Patty no longer wanted to go back to work. During the school year, John took some coaching positions to make ends meet while Patty took care of the kids. In the summer, John did construction work while Patty took the kids to the beach. John resented Patty's refusal to work, but went along with it. |
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Now Patty and John are getting divorced. Patty would like to work, but there are no jobs. Besides, she hasn't taught in more than eight years. She needs to take some refresher courses. |
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John is panicking. He could barely pay the bills when he was supporting one household. Now he'll have to support two. It just doesn't seem fair that he's done all the work, and now he'll have to do even more. |
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Patty is upset, meanwhile, because the family cannot afford to carry the house. Of course, if she had known they were going to divorce, she would have kept working. She's angry about the position she's in. |
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Could this nightmare happen to you? Remember, just because you are divorcing does not mean you can ignore decisions you and your spouse made about how you wanted to live your married life. You may be able to eventually change those decisions, but in the beginning of a divorce, they are the realities you have to address. |
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The basic rule is simple: The breadwinner spouse pays, and the nonbreadwinner cashes the checks. If you both worked or both have the ability to work and could easily get jobs, the chances are good that neither of you will have to pay the other. |
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In one case we've followed, a couple, a doctor and lawyer, were divorcing. The lawyer was a partner at a large law firm, and his wife worked in the emergency room at the local hospital two days a week for $1,000 a day. Neither had to pay spousal support to the other. |
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Child support is a different matter. The doctor-wife had custody of the parties' two children, and she was entitled to support from her husband for the children. Most states have a system whereby child support is determined based on a percentage of the parents' income and the number of children, or upon the children's needs, or a combination of the two. Check with your lawyer. |
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