|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Art of the Deal: How to Get the Most You Can |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
When negotiating for maintenance, be sure to look at the big picture. For instance, Ann Parsons did not want to sell her house under any circumstances. Her lawyer told her that if her case were decided by a judge, the judge would order the house sold and would order her husband to pay her support. Ann's husband had a checkered job history, though he was well paid when he did work. Ann decided that rather than take any support, she would keep the house. She could earn some money on the side and get by. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
It wouldn't have been the right deal for everyone, but for her, it was. She decided what she really wanted and looked at the big picture. She couldn't rely on her husband to pay her support, and the house would give her income when and if she was ever ready to sell it. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
All situations are different, of course, and negotiating the terms of maintenance will vary from one couple to the next. However, as you go about cutting your own deal, make sure to follow these general guidelines: |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
1. The deft negotiator will first figure out what he or she really wants and will cast a cold eye on the reality of the situation. Do you want to stay home with the kids or to go back to work? Do you want the house or the cash you would receive upon its sale? Will your spouse be responsible enough to meet his or her obligations? Don't hold out for promises you know your spouse probably will not live up to. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
2. If you've decided you want support above all else, you must determine your expenses, including recurring expenses and one-time costs due to the divorce. Will you have to move and have cable, telephone, and electricity installed? Or are you staying put, but in need of some replacement furniture? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Make a detailed list of these one-time and recurring expenses. Then make a list of all sources of income and savings. Try using checks and credit card bills for 12 months and get an average of your monthly expenses. You should, by the way, come to terms with the fact that you may need to use some of the savings for your one-time expenses. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
After you determine the monthly expenses, calculate your shortfall. Is the shortfall a sum you can realistically expect to receive from your spouse? If so, great. (Remember, you may have to pay taxes on the money, so you may need more than the number you've come up with.) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If you know your spouse can't pay that much, look at your list again. Is there any place where you can compromise? Is there any way you can add to your income? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
3. You don't need to be Donald Trump to know that, when making a deal, you never present your bottom-line figure right away. We know that you've played enough mind games with your spouse to last you a lifetime, but you must play one more time to get a fair shake, and that time is now. Start high (or low if you're the one who has to pay) and gradually move down (or up). |
|
|
|
|
|