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| Pro | Con | | Some former spouses will be more reliable if they are paying third-party expenses directly because they feel more involved in their children's lives. | Some spouses will be less reliable if they are obligated to pay the third-party expenses. You will have to chase your former spouse for payment while the third parties are hounding you. |
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| Noncustodial Parent | | Pro | Con | | If you're obligated to figure third-party expenses into your direct payments, your former spouse will probably bear the cost of the increase. | If you pay the third parties, you'll bear the cost of any increases. | | You may feel more in control and more involved with your children if you pay third-party expenses directly. | If you give your former spouse the money to pay third parties and he or she doesn't make the payments, the third parties may chase you. |
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So what are you to do? If a judge decides your case after a trial, you'll have no choicewhatever he or she decides, goes. If you're settling your case, on the other hand, you can compromise. If your former spouse is the noncustodial parent and is reliable, you're probably better off having him or her pay the expenses directly to the third party to avoid responsibility for increases in big-ticket items, like school tuition. If your former spouse is unreliable or disagrees with you about signing your child up for an activity, you're better off receiving a larger amount of child support and paying these extra costs yourself. The point of child support is to enable the child to enjoy the lifestyle of the wealthier parent. If that has a benefit to the ex, so be it. |
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One of the most frequent questions lawyers get from their noncustodial clients is Why can't I pay child support directly to my child? (So what if the child is two!) Or, Why can't I set up an account so I know the money is being used for the kids? The real question being asked is, Isn't my spouse the one benefiting from the child support? |
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The truth is, your ex is benefiting, to a degree. If your former spouse pays the rent with child support, of course he or she is also benefiting. The same goes for the phone, electricity, and cable TV, even food. Let's face it, your ex isn't going to buy steak for the kids and hamburger for himself or herself. |
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