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Infancy to Two-and-a-Half Years |
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Infancy, psychologists agree, is a time for building an attachment to the primary caretaker. The infant's developmental task is to form trust in the environment. Long separations from the primary caretaker can result in symptoms of depression and regression, and later may result in problems with separation and the ability to form relationships. |
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Toddlers are beginning to develop a sense of independence. They are becoming aware of themselves and begin to speak and walk. They now can use symbols to comfort themselves. |
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Because the successful attainment of these developmental tasks lays the foundation for secure and healthy children, parents should design a schedule that works within the confines of the children's needs at this stage. The best schedule, say the experts, is short, but frequent time with the noncustodial parent: Short because infants and toddlers can't maintain the image of their primary caretaker for long, and frequent to enable them to bond with the noncustodial parent. Most psychologists agree there should be no overnight visitation for these very young children. |
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Jonathan was a five-month-old baby when his parents separated. His father left the house and moved into a nearby apartment. He saw his son regularly at his former home. Jonathan was just at the age in his growth when separation from his mother for any reason causes an infant separation anxiety. All parents are familiar with this stage in an infant's lifeno one but Mommy will do. So, as with any other infant of this age, whenever Jonathan's dad held him, he would start to scream. |
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Jonathan's father would not accept the fact that this was normal behavior. Angry at his estranged wife, Jonathan's father refused to cooperate with the recommendations of a child psychologist. The child, the expert said, should be returned to his mother's arms during these anxious moments. As a result of the father's insensitivity to Jonathan's genuine developmental needs, Jonathan eventually developed an aversion to his father. Jonathan's dad thus laid the groundwork for his son's resistance to visitation. |
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Two-and-a-Half to Five Years |
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This is a time of continued growth and individuality. These young children can now hold the absent parent in mind for comfort for longer periods of time. Language is developed enough to enable these youngsters to express feelings and needs. Feelings and bodily functions are now more in their control. There is also a growing identification with the same-sex parent at this age. |
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Time away from the primary caretaker can increase, and overnights can be introduced, depending on the temperament of the individual child. If the child resists long periods |
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