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Long-Distance Relationships |
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If, for some reason, one parent moves to another state or even another country, continual contact with children can still be made. Steve moved from New York to Dallas because of a job opportunity he couldn't pass up. But he still wanted to stay close to his children, Tim, 5, and Alex, 9. Steve called them every night before they went to bed. He also wrote a letter once a week and sent pictures of his new neighborhood. He even sent a video of himself taken by a friend. Steve also came up with some clever ideas for relating to his children while he was not with them. He told them to pick a television program they liked, and he would watch it at the same time. That night, they would talk about the show. He sent puzzles and riddles that the children could finish, and he would ask them how they did. Every six weeks, Steve spent a four-day weekend with Tim and Alex in their town. He also alternated school holidays with his former wife, Sharon. In this way, Tim and Alex maintained a pretty close relationship with their dad, even though he lived a couple of thousand miles away. |
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Evan: I can't take it anymore! Every time I get ready to go over to my dad's, Mom tells me to make sure to tell Dad he owes her two months' support! Then Dad tells me to bring a message to my mom that he's paying her too much! I just feel like running away from both of them. |
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Kate: I know what you mean. I can't stand the way my dad always asks me who Mom's been seeing. Then he asks me to find out more about her dates and tell him. |
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Matthew: My mom and dad can't keep from making snide remarks to each other when my dad comes to pick me up. Why was I so unlucky to get parents who hate each other? |
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Amy: I always feel pressured to take sides. Why don't they understand I need and love both of them? I don't want to side with one against the other! |
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Divorce is generally born of conflict. But when extreme conflict persists even after the members of the couple have parted ways, the children of that marriage may find it difficult, if not impossible, to heal. Indeed, when parents cannot put their mutual anger aside and when they sweep their young children into the conflict, they have ceased to protect those children and irreparable damage may result. |
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These children of high-conflict divorce, torn between the two most important people in their lives, are often emotionally damaged by the struggle. According to psychologists, such children are often depressed and aggressive. Later, as adults, they will usually have |
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