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first go on vacation and you're in a new hotel room. You may have mixed feelingsa little excitement along with some unease because you're in a new place. Remember what it feels like when you stay at a friend's housethere's the strange bed and bathroom, the likes and dislikes of the individual you're visiting, the different routines. The first night you may feel uncomfortable. You miss your own bed, your carpet, your morning coffee; you long to be free to look really grungy until you've completed your morning routine. Imagine this scenario, and you will begin to understand what your child's back-and-forth experience is like. |
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To your advantage, you are an adult with an adult's perspective. Children, on the other hand, have little life experience and also often experience time differently. What might be just a weekend to you feels more like a month to a child. What might be a two-week summer vacation to you seems like a lifetime to a child. |
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Children can have difficulty thinking about leaving their custodial parent and their primary home even for the weekend. |
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Although your children love their other parent, the transition may still be hard because it is a major change in your children's reality. For children, every reunion is also a separation; every transition is bittersweet. Every hello is also a good-bye. |
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If you are the noncustodial parent, when your children get adjusted to being at your home, it may be difficult to think about leaving you again, even though they're glad to see their custodial parent. |
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For a time after returning to their original home, there is another adjustment period. They may miss the parent they just left and act rebellious, be unusually quiet, or just want to be alone for a while. Each new parent should give the children time to adjust and not get overly concerned with behaviors that seem unusual during this period. Be sensitive to your children. Read a book or do some other quiet activity with them. If they seem to need some space, finish up what you were doing before they came back. In time, things will get back to normal. |
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