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2. Remind your children that they are leaving the day prior to the visit. |
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3. Depending on the age of your children, help them pack their traveling bags the day before they leave. If they are school-aged, make sure that their homework is included. Have a very young child choose a cute traveling bag that is fun. His input into this symbol of his transition will help give him a feeling of involvement and control. |
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4. Anything that they can keep at their other home (toothbrush, comb, pajamas, and so on) to ease the packing and make them feel more comfortable when they are with the other parent will help. |
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5. For very young children, a traveling bear or other stuffed toy can help provide a sense of security. If your child expresses worry that his bear might be left behind, get a few traveling friends that can stay behind or be easily replaced. |
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6. A picture of the absent parent can accompany the child. |
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If you and your spouse or ex-spouse have a working relationship, the transition from one home to the other is easier on both the parents and the children. Children sense their parents' tacit approval and take with them the good wishes of the parent they are leaving. Even though the sudden change is stressful, knowing that the parent being left supports the going and will be fine during the absence gives the children the foundation they need to cope. |
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Seeing Your Ex-Spouse Through Your Children's Eyes |
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To lessen the uncomfortable feelings you might have when you have to face your ex-spouse during the exchange, try seeing him or her through your children's eyes. Keep your feelings about your ex-spouse separate from those you have about your children's parent. This technique will help keep your attitude positive during the exchange, which in turn will allow your children to feel okay about leaving you. And, you really want your children to feel okay about leaving you. (Don't worry, they'll come back!) |
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