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But paying work isn't all that's important. If you feel you've failed to develop the skills to take care of your children on your own, this is the time to take child development classes and read up on child safety issues. Then, when the children are on your turf, you'll be far more adept as a parent and better able to sustain your role in their lives. |
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Remember, widening your options and your skillsin short, branching outis the key to fending off feelings of frustration and the sense of being trapped. |
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Letting Go: Two Steps Forward, One Back |
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Margo and Blake had been sweethearts since high school. To all their friends, a more incongruous couple could not be found. Tall and beautiful, with flowing black hair, Margo was often sought by a variety of would-be Romeos. Short and almost shockingly unattractive, Blake was the typical nerd. But to Margo, whose troubled home situation caused constant angst, he was a sea of tranquility. Witty and constant and very smart, Blake promised (even in high school) to take Margo from the turbulence of her existence to a calm picket-fence world where she would never have to worry about betrayal or anger again. |
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True to his word, Blake attended medical school. Unlike most of his fellow students, whose goals included personal career advancement, Blake had gone this route simply to woo Margo. Over the intervening years, she had had many other boyfriends, although she also always had time and space for Blake. Without high points in income and respectability, he felt, she would never commit. |
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The wedding, when it finally occurred, was simple but elegant. For Margo, whose emotional fragility had prevented her from working, the ceremony implied the safety Blake had always promised. For Blake, it was a dream come true. |
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But somewhere along the line, things went wrong. |
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The stress of meeting Margo's standards as he competed in the medical world caused Blake to seek succor elsewherein drugs. His cocaine habit grew severe and obvious, and he was dismissed from his job. |
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Unable to deal with the turmoil, Margo sought and easily found a replacement partner. Her new and willing lover in place, Margo told Blake she wanted to bail. |
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Devastated but always understanding, Blake agreed to the divorce and, with the help of a drug therapy program, worked his way back to health. Unable to part with Margo, he took what he couldstatus as best friend and buddy for her and her new husband and, eventually, their infant son. Indeed, when Margo injured her hip in an accident, it was Blake who rushed to her bedside. And amazingly, when her husband found it difficult to |
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