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so constant, finally, there was no place for her to hide. In any given discussion, she would do something so mortally offensive that her husband would turn red and purple, insult her relentlessly, and finally, slam out the door. He regularly called her fat, robotic, boring, inhibited, dirty, cold, malodorous, and selfishall in front of the childrenand these are just the adjectives fit for print. Her inability to have sex in the wake of these constant outbursts enraged him still more. |
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Finally, Marcy had the courage to extricate herself from this abusive relationship. After she moved out, she was not only relieved, but also shell-shocked. After years of this psychological abuse, the last thing she could think of was finding a new romance. Instead, she cherished the evenings home, alone, and the silence of the inert walls. After she'd spilled some water or left a mess on the floor, she was continually shocked to hear nothingno groaning or muttering or cursing at all. It was as if a poison fog had lifted. For the first time in a decade, she could talk freely, move freely, breathe freely. |
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Yet, some two years after the divorce papers were signed (and some 208 psychotherapy sessions were complete), she happened to meet a manthe friend of friendswho found her delightful. She waited for the insults, the yelling, the anger, but they never came. Marcy never thought she would date again, let alone marry. But time and much reflection had, in fact, enabled her to let down her guard and open up to new emotion. With a man of greater calm and self-confidence and a larger capacity to accept her foibles and love, the second time around worked out fine. |
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How do you know when you're ready to find newromance? We think you just will. It's funny how people not on the market manage to project stay away from me vibes and keep love interests at bay. It's certainly not easy to find a new significant other, but you may find, once you're emotionally ready, the candidates available for coffee, dinner, or a film are there. |
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