|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You've decided to take the plunge and ask for a divorce, or you've been put on notice by a dissatisfied spouse. Whether the decision to divorce is mutual and desirable to both parties, or whether, in the more classic scenario, your divorce includes the proverbial dumper and dumpee, you must protect your own interests. Like it or not, once the die is cast you are no longer a team, but rather, adversaries with two separate agendas, two separate sets of interests, and ultimately, two worldviews. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If you and your spouse still get along and you are both fully aware of the family's financial situation, you can sit down and work out an allocation of assets and liabilities. You may also be able to agree on custody and visitation. The two of you together could, conceivably, decide who takes the children when, and for how long; how to structure visitation; how to arrange for childcare; and how to cooperate so that you are there to back each other up in the parental role, although you no longer function as husband and wife. Each of you can then find a lawyer: One attorney will draw up documents, and the other will review them. Voilá, you're on your way. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The problem is, of course, things don't always go this smoothly. Even the best-intentioned couples find themselves arguing over anything from custody of Rover to who gets the two season's football tickets. If you're like most people, sitting down over a cup of coffee and dividing up the hard-earned fruits of your marriage is just not going to happen. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
What then? Follow the Scouting motto: Be prepared. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
In Chapter 5, we'll provide some additional tips to help you lay the groundwork for this preparation. We'll assume, of course, that you've already followed the steps recommended in Chapter 2. By now, you have hired a lawyer and have taken stock of your family's financial situation, including any income, property, or outstanding debt. But as the dust begins to clear, as reality sets in, you will be dealing with the detailsthe accumulations, the detritus, the remains of your relationship and the vestiges of your shared life. As you set out to settle the score, divest some baggage, work through pain, or simply clear the field, you'll need to attend to the special issues discussed in this chapter. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Financial Archaeology: Documenting Your Life from Year One |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You've already collected financial statements readily available around the house. But in some cases, it's very important to have copies of tax returns, bank statements, insurance policies, and loan applications going back in the marriage as far as possible; if you or your spouse have destroyed documents after a decade, as some people do, it could work against you. Such documentation may be especially critical if there's a gap between your reported income and your standard of living. The Bright family, for instance, reported income of $50,000, but the two children attend private school ($20,000 per year total); the Brights |
|
|
|
|
|