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Perhaps you've decided to start your divorce action a few months before you get that bonus, thus excluding the money from what would otherwise be considered marital property. (Depending on the laws of your state, such strategy may or may not be completely effective.) Even if a bonus is paid after the date of separation, it may be deemed joint property because it was earned during the marriage. |
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Perhaps you and your spouse have worked out a mutually agreeable deal, and, when it's time to file, the lawyer who has been doing the paperwork simply files for her clientwhichever one that may be. |
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In short, who becomes plaintiff and who becomes defendant depends on a number of factors. Although it may not sit right with you to be the defendant or respondent, gone are the days when such labels mattered very much. |
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Work Out a Settlement Agreement |
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In the best of all possible worlds, you and your spouse would sit down like two civilized adults and pound out a fair settlement agreement between yourselves. |
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In one very difficult case, a 60-year-old man was divorcing his second wife. (His first wife died after 30 years of marriage.) Discussions between the lawyers went nowhere, and the parties' grown children from their first marriages weren't helping with their endless suggestions. Finally, the husband met his wife for breakfast at a diner one Sunday morning. Monday, he came to see his lawyer with the details of a settlement scribbled on a napkin. The lawyers got busy writing up the settlement agreement. |
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The moral of the story? Whatever you and your spouse can do toward settling the case, do. You'll save legal fees and headaches. There is only one caveat. Do not sign anything until you speak to your lawyer. |
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Indeed, we conclude this chapter by stating the obvious. Always check with your attorney before signing any agreement or taking any major steps such as moving out, withdrawing money from joint accounts, stopping credit cards, hiring a private investigator, or trying to tape conversations. |
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The Least You Need to Know |
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In the best of all possible worlds, you'll work out a settlement agreement with your spousebut don't count on it. |
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Don't place too much emphasis on who starts the divorce action. These days, it's not very important. |
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