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The bottom line is this: If you're not sure whether something merits a call, call your attorney. When you're through speaking about the problem, ask whether you should call about this sort of issue in the future. Maybe your lawyer will simply ask you to keep a diary, which you can hand over for later use in your case. Or maybe he wants to be kept informed immediately, by phone. |
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How and When to Talk to Your Lawyer |
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With luck, you have hired a lawyer with whom you feel comfortable, and you can talk to him as you would a friend. Nevertheless, it's important to maintain the boundaries that should exist between any professional and client. Keep your conversation focused on the reason for the call. Chatting about what a bad person your spouse is may feel good at the time, but it won't feel so good when you get the bill for the venting session. |
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Avoid raising issues your lawyer has already addressed. If your lawyer starts saying things like We're going in circles, or I think we've covered that, it's a gentle hint to move on to the next topic or say good-bye. |
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When on the phone with your lawyer, do avoid the tendency to speculate. No single activity on the phone probably wastes more of your legal fee dollars than speculating on why your spouse has done something, what he or she might do, what a judge might do, or what the other lawyer might do. The list is endless. Discussing the merits of your position is one thing; trying to figure out why something was done or what someone else will do is usually a waste of time. |
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If too much time has elapsed since you and your lawyer agreed on a plan of action (your lawyer was supposed to call your husband's lawyer last week and hasn't done it yet), call. The squeaky wheel gets oiled, but you need to be reasonable. If your lawyer said he or she would call you as soon as there was a decision in your case, don't call every day to check whether the decision has come. |
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Why You Should Care if You Annoy Your Lawyer |
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Unfortunately, you and your lawyer are probably in it for the long haul; some people have a longer relationship with their matrimonial attorney than they had with their spouse. |
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Many attorneys (like many psychotherapists) will never let you know when they are annoyed with you. After all, they get paid to listen to you, and the more they listen, the more money they're bound to make. Indeed, for some, your endless complaints about your ex may help fill an otherwise empty time sheet. |
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