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Tip 497: use questions to guide conversation. |
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When you ask a question, you redirect conversational traffic to a new topic. As long as you aren't demanding and insensitive and don't sound like an interrogating district attorney, questions for this topic-changing purpose sit well. Just be sure to use open-ended questions that give the responder plenty of latitude to take off in several directions. |
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Tip 498: Pose questions as fun. |
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Consider how many people like to answer questions "just for fun." Notice how many radio stations pose questions as games for their listening audiences: "What was your most embarrassing moment?" "Who was the most famous person you met and what was that person like?" "What were Bobby Jo's hottest hits in the seventies?" Or consider the people you see bent over crossword puzzles or the popularity of quiz games on TV. In our communication workshops, we toss out a question and have people debating the answer for three days during lunch and breaks. People like to use their minds constructively. |
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Help them by posing questions for fun and for reflection. Toss these out in your small circle at the next cocktail party: "So tell me, who remembers the number one pop hit of last year?" "How many CEOs running the Fortune 1000 companies would you guess are under 40 years old?" "Opinion poll here: What star has had the biggest influence on the movie industry to date?" |
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Tip 499: Use questions as a display of control. |
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The person who asks the questions stands at the helm of the ship. We allow only those in the appropriate positions of power over us to impose on us by guiding our topics, our discussions, and our analysis with questions. The person who decides who gets to ask the questions and then decides which questions are relevant and which are not controls the group. This principle works for emcees, panel moderators, lawyers, and judges. In the United States, we question and answer by consent. |
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Tip 500: Use Why questions with care. |
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Questions in a neutral tone that ask "why" about events cause little problem: "Why is the floor tile on backorder?" But asking "why" questions about people puts others on the defensive, especially if they already have a tendency to be defensive. "Why did you miss the meeting?" can be a straight- |
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