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Tip 507: Don't overpower the opposition with questions. |
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To wrap up a discussion in staff meeting, the manager says, "We're already half an hour later than I hoped we'd be in coming to a decision. If nobody has a serious objection to that campaign theme, we'll move on. Any more objections?" The effect of that question is much like a speaker announcing, "Well, it's time for a breakunless somebody has a question?" Who in their right mind will incite the group in bad need of coffee and a bathroom break? In effect, such I-plan-to-do-this-unless-you-fail-to-follow-my-cue questions kill any honest feedback or alternative ideas. |
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Tip 508: To express opinions, make statements rather than hide opinions in questions. |
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Instead of asking, "Isn't the MIS group taking a long time to forward those documents?" state your opinion: "I think the MIS group is taking a long time to forward those documents." With the question format, you might get a ''no, not necessarily" response and then you'll be put in the position of either having to drop the issue or to argue with the person who responded with the opposite view. Instead of "Do you like the way I set up these tables?" say "I hope you liked the way I set up these tables." With a statement, other people can choose to respond and agree or remain silent and not put you or themselves on the spot. |
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Tip 509: Use a pause instead of a question. |
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When you want to encourage the other person to continue to elaborate but don't want to give the impression of "cross-examining," try the pregnant pause. Many people feel uncomfortable with a pause and will do just about anything to fill it. After the other person stops talking, pause for 3 to 5 seconds and allow him or her time to continue with other details. |
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Tip 510: Use the echo technique. |
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When you want to encourage people to continue talking, repeat the last word or phrase they've just said as a question. They'll take the lifted voice as a cue to elaborate. For example: |
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SHARON: . . . so I'm undecided if the transfer will do me any good. |
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BOB: Will do you any good? |
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