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tomer?" Better simply to make a statement about what you think would have happened if the situation had "rocked along" or ask neutrally for the other person's viewpoint: "Did you consider notifying me, or did you think that was unnecessary at this point?'' "Do you think the customer will be willing to pay for this extra service you promised?" |
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Tip 503: Don't demand with questions. |
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"When are you going to call that committee chair back and tell him you don't have time to participate and do your job here?" "How can you even consider taking vacation that week when we have such a short deadline?" "Where can you possibly think of finding a replacement at such a late date?" "Why can't you develop the proposal yourself with our boilerplate?" Such questions make demands rather than call for answers. To use them simply makes the other person wary of other questions on other occasions. |
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Tip 504: Don't use a question as a dare. |
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"Well, when are you going to do something about it? What are you going to do about it?" "What do you mean by that kind of comment?" "Are you implying that I'm incompetent in my job?" Any of these questions dare the other person to be honest with a response. They "needle" the person to take action or risk the relationship or other consequence if answered. |
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Tip 505: Don't design multiple-choice questions when both choices are wrong. |
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"Are you so far behind that you thought it didn't matter that one more form wasn't turned in, or were you going to claim it got lost in the mail?" Of course, either alternative puts the other person in a bad light. People don't like multiple-choice questions when all choices make them look bad. |
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Tip 506: Don't use show-off questions. |
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"Did I tell you about having lunch with the CEO last week at the sales meeting?" "After reading several of the most recently published articles about nuclear fission, I'm wondering what you think about Clarendon's theories?" Such questions are brags or attempts to show off the asker's own expertisenot a true question that gathers input. Most people identify such purposes and resent them rather quickly. |
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