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With your boss's requests, bump against the requirements of the job to find ways to say "yes": "Are you absolutely certain the project has to be finished on July 15?" "Can we use our best guess if we can't locate the actual numbers by then?" "Can you find someone else to cover for me in California if I make the meeting for you in Dallas?" |
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"Yes" makes everybody smile. "Yes, and here are the details to make that work." |
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Tip 554: Be dramatic with your "No." |
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Sometimes you can celebrate your "no" as a major decision in life. Be dramatic with theatrics and props, if necessary, to make the point that you have "won a personal victory" by the careful process of coming to "no." Example: "Ta-da. You're looking at the new West Coast regional director. After three pepperoni pizzas and two bottles of No-Doz this weekend, I forced myself to make a list and check it twice to find out who's naughty and nice. I've decided that the regional director's job is it. That's where I want to hitch my star. Unfortunately, that means I have to say 'no' to your offer here. At first, I was torn between the choices, but now I feel good about the decision. I'm set free. A direction at last. Please understand my decision." With such fanfare, the requester often feels as though he or she should celebrate with you for having come to a difficult decision. At the least, he or she will know the answer is definite. |
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Tip 555: Use the Broken-Record Technique. |
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If someone refuses to accept your "no" and continues to harangue, give thought to phrasing a one-sentence "no" statement and use only that sentence over and over. Don't be sidetracked if the person brings up other benefits, mentions other issues, or makes other concessions. Say your one sentence again and again in a matter-of-fact tone. Example: "Would you trade weekends off and work for me July 15 and 16?" Answer: "I'm sorry I can't. I'm planning to attend a family reunion then." Requester: "But I traded weekends with you the last time you asked.'' Answer: "I know. I'm sorry. But I'm planning to attend a family reunion that weekend." Requester: "I'd pay you double time." Answer: "I can't. I'm attending a family reunion that weekend." Be firm, calm, courteous. It will end. |
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Tip 556: Use the sandwich technique. |
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Begin your "no" with a positive or neutral statement about what the other person has asked you to do. That shows the person you have listened well. |
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