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the equipment." You have not shunned your own responsibility in the decision, just explained your refusal. |
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People have a right to ask you to do almost anythingand you have a right to say "no." Examples: "I'm sorry I can't explain my decision, but the answer is 'no.' " "Under normal circumstances I'd be happy to help you, but this is bad time for me." "I can't participate." "Sorry, but I've decided that would not be in my best interest.'' "After careful thought, I've decided not to participate myself, but I wish you the best in the undertaking." |
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Tip 551: Be firm, fair, and nonjudgmental in your response. |
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If you're saying "no" because you do not approve ethically or morally of something the other person has asked you to do, it is usually best to be non-judgmental and succinct in your response. Do not feel compelled to pass judgment on their request: "No, I'd rather not participate." "No, I don't feel comfortable supporting that position." "I've decided not to attend for personal reasons." "After careful thought, my answer has to be negative. And I'd rather not share my reasons if you don't mind." "No. Thank you for your consideration in asking me to join you, but I've decided not to." |
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Tip 552: Phrase your "No" as positively as possible. |
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Wording a "no" requires tact. Positive wording to minimize the damage to someone's self-esteem takes the most tact of all. Examples: "We don't have time to include you on the program" versus "I really regret that we're not going to be able to take advantage of your expertise on this subject." "We're not going to be able to do business with you because your price is just too high" versus "I wish we could have found a way to do business together. I'm sorry price had to be our major consideration on this contract." |
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Tip 553: Learn to say "Yes, and" rather than "No, but." |
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I once asked a systems analyst if his company typically assumed any and all liability for the performance of the computers they installed and the service they performed. His answer was, "Yes, we'll do anything the client wantsat a price. Believe me, they will pay for our assuming that risk. If they insistand pay for itwe'll find a way to say 'yes.' " |
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When you'd like to be in a position to say "yes," check the limits to see what's negotiable. "Yes, we can do it, and here's what it will mean. We'll have to have temporary help or leave X undone or forget about doing the usual Y." |
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