|
|
|
|
|
|
|
difficulty with getting the machines repaired, and the safety concerns with contract laborers from your department just walking through the lab at will. You've agreed to talk to the temporary people about their wearing hard-hats. And I have volunteered to write a memo to the facilities people about the outages." Everything is put in perspective. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 613: Don't ask if the person "Understands" what you've said. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The person will answer in the affirmative, because to say otherwise would imply he or she is stupid or that you've been unclear. But more important than that, it communicates a parent-child, patronizing tone. If you do want to verify that the receiver understands, ask for "confirmation" of the key points and suggestions for improvements. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 614: Recognize when enough is enough. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
After you've made your point, illustrated your point, asked for and discussed the receiver's response, and identified specific actions to be taken or behavior to be changed, stop. There is nothing but resentment to be gained by repeating yourself. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 615: Decide who should and shouldn't know what. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Work on deciding how you will put the incident or problem behind you and continue with the relationship. How will you explain changes to other people? Who will or will not be told anything about the discussion? How will you conduct yourselves around each other? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 616: End criticism with encouragement for the future. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Particularly if the person responds well to the criticism, comment on that upbeat, can-do attitude. Stress cooperation and mutual goals rather than conflict, blame, and defeat. Communicate your confidence that that person can change or improve behavior. As Deep and Sussman (authors of What to Say to Get What You Want) point out, "All saints have a past, all sinners a future." Even movie moguls have bad rehearsals and unfavorable reviews. Your goal is to have a box-office bonanza. |
|
|
|
|
|