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"hung the moon," but as negotiators, not so. When expectations about what you can offer, pay, do, approve, or provide are too high, the other person will always walk away feeling disappointed after you come to termsas if getting a bad deal. |
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Before you get too far into discussions, reset expectations: "I hope you're not going to be disappointed that this year's order can't match the unusual one we placed last year." "I wish I controlled all the purse strings on this deal, but I don't." "With so many people who have to be pleased on these services, you're going to have to spend more time with us than you probably planned." "My budget isn't anywhere near what you're asking." ''I don't think the price you quoted is competitive in this area." "The services you seem to be wanting us to provide are just not offered by companies like oursat least not at the low fees we charge." "The changes you need may be way beyond the scope of what we plan in this remodeling project." The idea is to make the other person's starting point realistic. |
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Tip 716: Take the other person into your confidence about your own restraints. |
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If you have special considerations or restraints, say so. You may have legitimate issues that bind you with regard to pricing, scheduling, shipping, staffing, deciding, or any number of things. |
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Then reverse the situation; ask the other person to level with you: "Do you have an especially tough time line you're working on?" "Will it be difficult to get your team to agree?" "What is the mood around your organization just now?" "Are you used to having to sell your ideas to the MIS department?" "Is there any other special need or consideration that I should know about here?" By sharing those restraints, you create trust, reset expectations, and genuinely help the other person see how to meet your needs. |
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Tip 717: Don't state your position unilaterally. |
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Be careful that neither your words nor your tone sounds like "take it or leave it." Once you've stated your position as unchangeable, the discussion may go downhill fast. Why? You'll back yourself into a corner. Unless losing face is of no consequence to you, you'll resist changing your mind. If one side has to "give in," the other will feel embarrassed, defeated, or resentful. If nobody "gives in," you're at a stalemate. The best approach is for both people to start walking toward their goal and gradually fall in step. |
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