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Tip 718: Tag the other person's unalterable positions. |
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As you brainstorm solutions and test the details, tag unalterable positions the other person mentions or implies. Determine the difference between "won'ts" and "can'ts." Once you tag the unalterables, you'll know how much leeway you really have in coming to agreement. |
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Tip 719: "Test the Details" before making or asking for full commitment. |
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Make it clear that you're not agreeing or committing to anything yet. Then sort out details to see which are acceptable and unacceptable in meeting the other person's needs. Try comments such as: "If we were able to get delivery in 30 days, would that work for you?" "If Sharon could come in an hour earlier for a month, would she be able to finish the task within your time frame?" If the idea is unacceptable, discard it immediately. If the idea is a ''possibility," keep it in mind but remember that it is not a commitment yet until all details are worked out. |
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Tip 720: Listen for loopholes. |
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Nowhere is listening more crucial than when coming to an agreement in which everyone wins. Listen for needs and wants of the other person. Which are must-haves and which are nice-to-haves? Does the other person have to win on a certain pointor simply have to not lose? Does the other person have to have X or simply want a guarantee that Y won't happen? Listen for words that indicate which of the other person's points are negotiable. Listen for inconsistencies in "facts," wants, and values. Listening your way into agreements often pays bigger dividends than talking. |
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Tip 721: Make your "No" authoritative. |
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If an issue is nonnegotiable, say so. And be specific about what parts of the issue are unacceptable. "No, I definitely can't agree to the up-front payment, but I might be able to give you some room on the delivery date." If the other person refuses to accept your "no," repeat it. Then repeat it. Then repeat it. If the broken-record technique doesn't seem to make the point, check your own body language and voice quality for inconsistency. Are your words saying "no" while your tone is saying "maybe"? Make both body language and behavior match your words. |
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