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you'll lose credibility about what you want or need and sound uncommitted or unknowledgeable about the whole issue. |
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Tip 730: Ask for the other person's reasons behind a particular offer or demand. |
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Rather than simply challenging a demand or refusing a request, ask the other person to explain his reasoning. And even if the other person unexpectedly makes a concession or offer, ask the reasoning behind it. This information can give you valuable insights into the other person's values and goals. Your asking for the basis of the offer or demand also identifies you as a reasonable person who wants to understand and arrive at the best possible outcome. |
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Tip 731: Reverse the other person's logic. |
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People tend to use logic in presenting their side of an issuebut their logic is apparent from only one point of view. Your goal is to help them see the reasoning from both angles. |
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An example: An employee approaches you for a raise, saying that because the company plans to move headquarters farther out into the suburbs, he will have to travel farther to work. Reverse his logic: Would he be willing to accept a pay cut if you decide to move headquarters closer to his house? |
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Another example: The employee wants a raise because the company has had a profitable year. Would she be willing to sign an agreement for a decrease in pay if the company does poorly the next year? |
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Tip 732: Forget the matching exercise. |
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Don't feel as though you have to give something up every time the other person makes a concession. For example, on price, if the other person raises her offer by $200 to come closer to your asking price, don't feel as though you must lower the asking price by $200 as a move in good faith. Or, consider a discussion with your boss about new flextime hours: |
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YOU: I'd like to come in later in the mornings to allow more time to take care of my elderly mother living with me. I'd prefer to work 10 to 6, with no lunch hour. |
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YOUR BOSS: Well, I could give you some leeway from the set 8 to 5 schedule. How about coming in at 8:30? |
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YOU: Well, that's still a rushI have to prepare my mother's meals for the day. I really need to have a 10 o'clock start time. |
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Don't feel obligated to give something or change something just because the other person has done so. Your request or position may have |
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