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Tip 1030: Establish a baseline before you attach deep meanings to body language. |
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We've all read books and heard talks about what various gestures mean: that arms folded across the chest indicate a closed, defensive attitude, that leaning forward means interest, that shrugged shoulders mean indifference, that narrow eyes and a set jaw mean defiance, that a smile and nodding mean agreement. But few gestures convey meaning in and of themselves; they have to be interpreted in clusters. The gestures and attached meanings mentioned here do generally hold true, but the real meaning of a gesture comes only with context and as exhibited by a particular individual, just as in spoken messages, one boss's "excellent" on a performance appraisal is another boss's "satisfactory." Interpreting nonverbal language accurately involves paying attention to the variations and the habits for that particular individual. Mitch may always sit with his arms folded across his chestwhen he's bored and when he's elated. |
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Before you decide to risk much on reading a customer's, committee's, or team's body language, establish what's normal for that person or group. Chat with them on a neutral subject to get a reading about what's normal before you try to interpret how they react to something controversial you may want to communicate. |
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One man's smile may be another man's belly laugh. |
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Tip 1031: Remind yourself that people may give false, nonverbal cues. |
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People who smile and laugh at your jokes may be bored to tears; people who look at you with a blank stare may be very interested in what you have to say. I recall one seminar I conducted several years ago when one female engineer rested her head in her hands and kept her eyes downcast while doodling on a piece of paper the entire time. No amount of eye contact on my part, gesturing, or raising and lowering my voice could stir her to look up. After the first six hours, I gave up in trying to pique her interest and turned my attention back to the rest of the group. Dreading what her final evaluation of the seminar would say, I was surprised to read her comment: "Best seminar I've ever attended in my fourteen years with the company. This should be a required course for all employees." |
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So much for reading body language. Some people just never let their emotions get to their face. |
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Tip 1032: Walk, stand, and sit with good posture. |
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You may have noticed these various postures among people in the workplace: the shufflers, who shift weight from one foot to the other back and forth, back and forth, but never move any place; the pacers, who walk and talk like |
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