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Tip 1038: Use eye contact to build rapport with others. |
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Locking eyes with another individual can say to the other person that you're interested in them, that you think they're important, that you believe in what you're saying, or that you believe it's important they hear what you're saying. On the other hand, withholding eye contact can say to others that you don't think they're worth getting to know, that you're not interested in them, that you're lying, or that what you have to say is of little consequence. |
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Eye contact is so powerful in our culture that we summon waitresses or taxi drivers by "catching their eye." We reprimand a child with a glance. We show love by gazing into the lover's eyes. |
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Your eye contact can be the most powerful tool you have for building rapportor your most dangerous weapon in destroying relationships. |
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Tip 1039: Adopt a handshake that matches your personality and intention. |
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A limp handshake conveys shyness or aloofness; a macho handshake shows aggressiveness and a sense of competition. A "quickie" handshake tells others you don't want to get involved; a longer handshake shows interest. A prolonged handshake signals more than a business interest. So, for middle-of-the-road business occasions, offer a middle-of-the-road handshake: not too firm, not too limp, not too long, not too brief. Just right. |
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Tip 1040: Nod your head to show "You're Home." |
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If you've ever heard people complain that they felt they were talking to a "brick wall," they were probably reacting to a lack of nodding from the listener. In our culture, a nodding head is very important. In various situations, it says, "I understand." "I like you." "I agree with you." "I identify with you.'' If you have the feeling that people seem aloof when you're present, be aware of the absence of head-nodding on your part. If you want to, you could literally nod your way to friendship. |
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Tip 1041: Don't point your finger. |
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People often associate this gesture with an authoritarian in their lifea scolding parent or teacher or boss. Most people are turned off by a wagging finger in their face. |
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