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ment. When a manager wants to "go home" after a long day of work, you know the trip is short and that he or she will be back the following day. When a psychologist talks about "going home" mentally to heal childhood wounds, you may begin a new thought process that lasts for years. Meaning doesn't come from words. Meaning depends on who says the words to whom, when, and for what purpose. The more common the word, the more meanings it likely has. |
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Tip 118: Don't attach too much significance to a less than well-chosen word used carelessly. |
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Have you ever caught yourself stewing over one little word in a bigger context? Turning that one word over and over in your mind and chewing it up for all the misery it provides? Let's say your spouse says, "We've got briefcases and paperwork all over the house. This fit you've been in over that Delco project is wrecking your entire schedule. You're bringing more and more work home lately." |
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Response? "Fit, huh? So he thinks it's a fit, huh? I'd like to see him keep his cool if he were in my shoes!" The word "fit" sets you off. A better-chosen word might have been "dither" or ''predicament." You've got a choicetake the comment for its full context and message or play off the one poorly chosen word that brings up an entirely different message and emotion. |
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When pinched with the poor word, don't blow the comment out of proportion. Consider the entire context. |
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Tip 119: Use honest words. |
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Have you ever read a tourist brochure enticing you to a vacation getaway that disappointed you? Once there, you understand that "sun-drenched" meant "hot," that "tucked away in the valley" meant "inaccessible except by donkey," that "relaxed atmosphere" meant "no room service," that "surrounded by water activities" meant "two lakes with a paddle boat," that "moderately priced" meant "creaky furniture and no maid service." |
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Be as honest with your words as with your pocketbook. |
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Tip 120: Never say Never, None, All, Everything, Totally, Constantly. |
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When you use one of these words, the other person will typically focus on the exception rather than the general rule you meant to discuss. |
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