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Assessment: "You never come home in time for dinner with the rest of the family." |
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Response: "I don't know what you mean. Last Thursday I was home in the middle of the afternoon." |
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Assessment: "You always complain about where we eat lunch, Harry." |
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Response: "No, I don't. Yesterday we ate seafood. I hate it but didn't say a thing." |
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Assessment: "You're constantly late with your status reports." |
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Response: "I don't know what you're talking about. I turned it in a week early in June." |
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You'll be focused on the exception rather than the real issue that needs attention. |
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Tip 121: Minimize times when you have to use Should, Must, Will, Ought statements. |
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All four words sound abrupt, intimidating, even condescending in situations where you might be perceived as "telling people what to do." Even if you intend your comment only as friendly advice, the words make listeners feel inadequate or stupid somehow, as if they should have known better or acted wiser. These "hot" words make people say ''Oh, yeah? Who are you to tell me what I should/must/will/ought to do?" Even if you do have to tell someone what to do, why not wear a velvet glove rather than a boxing glove? |
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Tip 122: Recognize weasel words as escape hatches. |
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Zero in on the little words that slip into sentences: maybe, possibly, could, sometimes, wish, may possibly cause, could attribute to, seems to, appears to be, might be a consideration. The most frequent customer-service problems involve what the customer considers "unkept promises." When there's a problem, customer-service reps insist they never made the promise that customers thought they heard. Service reps focus on the "may," "might," or "sometimes," and customers overlook such hedge words. |
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When you're on the receiving end of promises, question people about the escape words they use. When you're on the giving end, state as much as you can verify or promiseno more and no less. Of course, you can't state absolutes that aren't absolutes. But realize that such words and phrases drain the power from your claims; predictably, people pounce on them. |
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