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"I'll keep the information handy in case we have a need." "I'll help you if I can." "Maybe sometime we can get together." "Let's chat about that later." |
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Once people learn you have no intention of doing what you say, it will be a major construction effort to rebuild credibility. |
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Tip 162: Make invitations specific. |
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"Why don't we get together for lunch sometime?" comes across as "I might possibly want to spend some time with you, but I'm not sure. Why don't you call me with a specific time and I'll see if I've still got the urge?" If you really do want to spend time with someone, be specific: "Why don't we have lunch next week? How about Wednesday at Reno's Deli about 1 o'clock?" Or, if you honestly don't know your schedule or think the other person doesn't know his or hers, try, "Let's have breakfast together next week. I'll check my calendar this afternoon and call your office to see if you're available next Thursday or Friday." Only a specific invitation sounds sincere. |
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Tip 163: Make invitations vague if you think you should spend time with the other person but don't really want to badly enough to make a commitment. |
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I've had an acquaintance who has been saying to me for two years when we meet at parties, "Call me for lunch sometime." After about five such invitations, I took him seriously and phoned with an invitation to breakfast or lunch any day of the week for the next 10 days. Seems that he was "behind, rushed, overextended" for an indefinite period of time. Had he really wanted to get together, he would have responded, "Gee, I'm really behind with several projects for the next two weeks. But what if I phone you Monday the 22nd, and let's see if we can set a date by then." |
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If you don't want to make a commitment of time, be vague. People will get the messageall of it. |
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Tip 164: Avoid challenges to someone's integrity. |
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A sure way to make enemies in a meeting is to challenge someone's integrity with statements or questions like these: "What is your agenda for getting this done so fast?" "Who asked you to do this?" "What's in this for you?" "What are you not telling us?" "Who should we ask for the other side of the story?'' |
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