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Tip 183: Let another person know he or she is superior to you in some skill. |
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My husband, who has mastered this principle, always has more advice and help than he can use on home repairs and fishing. He simply lets someone with those skills know that he respects their expertise, and they're glad to show him how much they really know. For hours. At personal cost. People enjoy being helpful when they know the admiration is genuine. |
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Examples: "I just don't have the mechanical aptitude." "What's your solution? Nothing comes to my mind." "Could you help me out of this mess I've created for myself?" "You have far more experience in these situations than I do. What would you suggest?" "I know this seems simple to you, but it's complex to me.'' "Thanks for making me look good with this. You did a fine job." All such expressions give credit where it's due and make people feel good about themselves. |
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Tip 184: Let others impress you if you want to make a good impression yourself. |
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Dale Carnegie introduced this principle decades agowe win friends by making others feel important. People like to talk about themselves, so encourage them to do so. Then let them know you admire or respect them for some insight, talent, skill, philosophy, or attitude. We like those who like us. |
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On the other hand, we don't appreciate those who say by word, tone, or expression, "So what? I'm underwhelmed." |
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Tip 185: Think about the imposition and the options before you ask for a favor. |
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Ask yourself the following questions before giving yourself permission to ask a favor: Is the favor a real imposition? Are you asking the other person to spend time, effort, or money that you wouldn't be willing to spend yourself on the project? Will the other person say "yes" out of guilt? Are you giving the other person an option to say "no" without their feeling guilty? Only if you can answer "yes" to the last one should you ask the favor. |
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Tip 186: Don't presume on a friend; Ask for permission. |
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Friends will love you even more for the courtesy you've shown when you don't impose on their good nature. Use the following when the occasion |
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