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Tip 207: Play host rather than guest. |
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Friends of mine, Bob and Jane, always seem to know everybody at every party, circulate well, and seem busy and hurried to get to the next group. Finally, I discovered their secret to being in the middle of every huddle. They simply took it upon themselves to play hosts rather than guests. They join a quiet group, introduce themselves to the person beside them, and then turn to another person on the right or left or passing by and say, "Mike, have you met Sam? He's with Allied. A chemical engineer." Bob listens to them talk a few moments and then is off to make the next introduction, to freshen someone's drink, to show someone to the coat room, or to beg someone to sing the latest hit. |
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Those who consider themselves guests, on the other hand, take a passive role and often feel either trapped by a bore or neglected by the most entertaining group. |
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Don't wait for others to introduce you, offer you food, suggest that you tell a story, or lead you to meet the new manager. Instead, play host yourself and look for things to do: CDs to play, food to replenish, people to introduce, traffic to monitor, entertainment to encourage or praise, name badges to make, people to hug. |
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Tip 208: Bring along your own PR person. |
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If you feel immodest singing your own praises and your purpose is to get attention from the "right" people, consider making the rounds with a friend who can make the offhanded comments you can't. "Hey, guys, I've got someone you should meet. Marguerite. She's leading the new development team for the StarFish package. That's the project that's going to fund all our retirement condos in Hawaii!" or "Al, have you met Rosalinda? She's just sold over a quarter million worth of widgets her first four months. Pretty impressive, huh? I'm standing close so it'll rub off on me." |
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Be aware of groups who seem to be involved in an intense, confidential conversation. They'll be standing nose to nose and toes to toes, and glare at anyone who approaches. If you enter such a conversation by accident, you can excuse yourself with, "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were involved in a confidential conversation" and move on. |
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Tip 210: Choose a topic appropriate to the group, the atmosphere, the relationship, and your purpose. |
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Begin with one of the three options open to you: Ask a question. State a fact. Voice an opinion. Generally, you're safe in discussing the other per- |
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