|
|
|
|
|
|
|
sation becomes uneasy, stiff, formal. If you want to be light and amusing, relax your body and the tone of the conversation will follow. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 218: Recognize that the response you get will often reflect your own tone and delivery. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If you toss out an opener with an amused smile and light tone, people will usually respond in kind. If, on the other hand, you have a furrowed brow and look depressed when you asked their opinions on the economy, they may think you expect a serious dissertation on the subject. Rather than tackling the topic, they'll often give an offhanded comment and move on. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 219: Ask easy questions first to relax people. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
People have a fear of being sucked into conversations over their heads and left to drown. When introducing a new topic, toss out a question that requires an easy response, not an essay. As the other person relaxes in your presence, you or others can develop the topic with more specific questions and leads. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 220: Ask for opinions rather than information. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
When you ask others for information, "What is the latest news on the XYZ case?" either they can tell you or they can't. If they tell you, it's no big ego stroke for them simply to share common information. If they can't come up with the information, they'll feel uninformed or ignorant. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
When you ask for an opinion, however, people feel complimented. No matter whether they're informed or up to date, people always feel free to express opinions, and flattered that you ask for them. They'll talk longer and more eloquently if your question touches issues about which they feel passionate. The more interest you show in that opinion, the more complimented they feel. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tip 221: Don't ask questions too broad to answer. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"What do you think we need to do to get a handle on poverty?" "What do we need to do about TV violence?" "What's wrong with the youth of today?" Such questions sound too global for anyone to be interested in tackling them. Narrow the focus to one aspect of these issues, and you'll find more people have opinions to share. |
|
|
|
|
|