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the right person, purpose, and timing. But they're pitfalls waiting to trap you. Proceed with caution. |
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Tip 214: Play the part of the "Stranger in Town" with class. |
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If you seem to be the only one in a group who doesn't know the others or much about the event or purpose, ask questions about the city, group, features, history, accomplishments, or future plans. People love to talk about themselves, and their city or professional or social group is an extension of themselves. Never comment negatively on the person's city or group affiliation. Negatives earn the same response as pointing out egg stains on someone's clothing. |
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Tip 215: Develop your timing instinct before bringing up an appropriate subject. |
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Check to see who's entering or leaving your group. How long do you have before you'll be interrupted to move into the serving line or hear the entertainment? If people seem bored with small talk, they're ready to get down to the main purpose of your discussion. If they seem stiff and ill at ease, you probably need to dwell a little longer with chitchat before getting into hard-core discussions. |
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Tip 216: Read the other person's mindset by examining his or her opening comment. |
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If you ask "How are you?" and the other person responds with, "I'm hanging in there," you can assume that person wants to talk about a current difficulty or problem. If the person answers, "Great, how about you?" in an excited tone, he or she is in an exuberant mood. The same "Great, how about you?" wrapped in a flat tone says the person wants to avoid the discussion altogetherit's business as usual. |
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Tip 217: Relax your body language if you want a relaxed conversation. |
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When people stand erect, tense, and "on guard," those talking to them unconsciously begin to mirror that posture. As a result, the entire conver- |
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