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10. Save money, if at all possible. One unemployed wife of a physician wanted a divorce immediately. Her divorce lawyer, however, convinced her to change her mind. Instead, the attorney advised her, it would be best to wait a solid year before starting the divorce action. During that time, she was instructed to save moneyenough, hopefully, to move out and go it alone. It wasn't easy, but the wife saved enough to move out a year later. After she was settled in her own apartment, her lawyer then went to court and got the judge to order the husband to pay her monthly rent until the divorce was final. If the wife had not moved out, the judge could not have directed the husband to pay her rentshe wouldn't have had any rent to pay. Instead, she would have been stuck in the house, with her husband, until the divorce was final; and that could have taken far more than a year. (While most jurisdictions will award a non-working spouse temporary support, one cannot count on it.) |
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11. Build up your own credit. If you don't have credit cards in your own name, apply for them now. You may be able to get them now, based on your spouse's income, and you will probably need credit later. Use the cards instead of cash and pay the bill by the due date. |
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12. Stay involved or increase your involvement with your children. First of all, this is important for your childrenespecially because they will need all the support and reassurance they can get during the turbulent times ahead. In addition, because courts consider the depth and quality of your relationship when making custody and visitation decisions, such involvement now could translate to continued involvement, at a higher level, after the divorce. Do a self-check: Have you been so busy earning a living that you've let your spouse bear the brunt of child rearing? If so, now is the time to reallocate your priorities. If you have school-age children, help them get off to school in the morning, help them with homework at night, and help get them to bed. Learn who their teachers are, who their pediatrician is, who their friends are. If your children are not yet in school, spend as much time with them as you can before and after work. Even if you don't have much likelihood of getting custody, you'll become a better parent. Take heed from the much-publicized custody battle involving film director Woody Allen and his former partner, Mia Farrow. Allen's case for joint custody was severely weakened when the judge learned he didn't know the names of his children's pets or teachers, or their shoe sizes. Although many parents may not know their child's shoe size, Farrow's lawyer made a big deal out of it. Don't make the same mistake. |
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13. Withdraw your money from the bank. If you fear your request for divorce will send your spouse straight to the bank, withdraw half of the money in all your savings accounts first. Place the money in a new account, and keep it there until you and your spouse can work out the distribution of property. Do not spend the money if at |
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