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Some children, especially older ones, may not be particularly surprised. Alicia, a 13-year-old, recently had this to say: My parents had been cold to each other for a long time. Sometimes they would scream at each other, and all I wanted to do was run away. It came as no surprise when they sat me down and told me they were getting a divorce. |
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For children who have not been exposed to fighting, a simple explanation will go a long way toward helping to digest the news. Depending on the age of your youngest child, say as much as possible about why the marriage is ending. When speaking to your children in a group, use language that even the youngest can understand. |
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Telling the children that you are going to divorce and why is the toughest part of the family meeting. But it is only the beginning. Because children are appropriately centered in their own world, they need to have precise and very concrete information about how their lives will change. By the end of the discussion with your kids, they should know: |
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As much as possible about the reasons for the divorce |
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When the separation will take place |
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Where the parent who is leaving will live |
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With which parent they will live |
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When and under what circumstances they will see their other parent |
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Whether they will be moving into a new house or apartment |
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That he or she will have open telephone communication with the parent who is leaving |
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