|
|
|
|
|
|
|
No matter how angry you are, don't lock out your spouse and don't abandon your marital residence with or without the children. If you do so, you stand to damage your position with regard to custody and assets. If you've locked out your spouse, he or she will get back in somehow, and living under one roof will be still more excruciating. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Never act out of revenge. Do not put the children in a loyalty bind. Resist any urge to do revenge spending. It may be used against you later if your case goes to court. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
It goes without saying, of course, that you will follow the strategic list provided at the top of this chapter as well: Protect your financial position by learning all you can about your family's finances. Be sure to photocopy all relevant documents and photograph your valuables, including those in the safe deposit box. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You must also protect yourself against any preemptive moves your spouse may have taken without your knowledge. Directly ask your spouse for any papers that are suddenly missing. Make sure that the safe deposit box or family safe has not been raided. With your lawyer's help, you can get restraining orders against the use of specific bank accounts. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Now is the time for some financial strikes of your own. If it's not too late, collect any journals, calendars, or other items and remove them from the house. If your spouse hasn't yet raided the bank accounts, withdraw half of the savings accounts and open a new account. Do not spend that money, if at all possible. If the credit cards are in your name, or if you pay the credit card bills, cancel them. Tell your spouse you are doing that. Since he or she has announced plans to divorce, this should not come as a surprise. On the other hand, if you have not yet established credit in your own name, now is the time to do so; use your spouse's credit lines to build some credit of your own. Obtain and complete applications immediately. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If the two of you are going to live together until the divorce is final, decide where you'll sleep. Please note, because your spouse told you that he/she wants the divorce, you have the upper hand and can probably successfully demand use of the bedroom. If you and your spouse can still have a civil conversation, decide how and what the two of you will tell the children. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Finally, consider therapy, if you feel it might help. There are going to be many stresses in the future, emotional as well as financial, and the better you can cope with them, the smoother the divorce process will go for you. |
|
|
|
|
|