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she never returned home that night at all. In the morning, she called to say she was in love with someone else and wanted a divorce. |
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A third friend found herself in a similar situation. She thought she and her husband were, for the most part, getting along well, with only some small disagreements. They had a beautiful one-year-old son whom they both doted on. One night, her husband announced he wanted a divorce. At the same time, he refused to move out of the house for another year because he wanted to bond with his son. She had no recourse. She lived under those strained circumstances until they worked out a settlement. Only then did he move out. |
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No matter what your circumstances, if your spouse's desire for divorce takes you by surprise, you will probably feel as if the bottom has dropped out from under you. You're likely to need months to lick your emotional wounds, restore your self-esteem, and start to heal. Nonetheless, as raw and beaten as you may feel, you will need to follow a plan of action if you want to protect your legal rights, financial assets, and access to your children. We know you'll have plenty of time to think the details through, but for now, when the pain is so enormous you can hardly think at all, you must attend to the following items to shore up your strategic position for later on. |
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The second you're told you will be involved in divorce you must hire a lawyer. Be sure to tell your lawyer about any problems that may require relief from the court: the need for money for yourself or your children; the need to decide, at least on a temporary basis, who the children will live with and what the visitation arrangements will be; and, in some cases, the need for protection from the other spouse. |
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If you are a parent, the most important thing you will do is protect your relationship with your children. Consult your lawyer immediately to make sure that you are doing everything possible to protect your rights with regard to your children and avoid trampling on the rights of your spouseno matter how you feel about him or her. |
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