|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Real-Life Stories, or, If at First You Don't Succeed |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Alice and Dan both agreed their marriage had reached an impasse. So when they decided to end it, they were both in the same place. They had a six-year-old son, Jake, and a ten-year-old daughter, Allison. Alice and Dan made an appointment with a child therapist recommended to them by their marriage counselor. The therapist was experienced in working with children from divorced families, so she was able to provide guidance to Alice and Dan in working out a time-sharing arrangement. Because the parents seemed to get along well, she recommended that they be open-minded about how the plan was working. If it didn't work, she advised, they should meet with her again to modify the plan. Alice and Dan agreed. They decided that the children would live with Alice during the week but have dinner with Dan twice during the week. At first, Allison and Jake would live with their father from Saturday morning until Sunday evening. After three months, Friday night at Dad's was to be phased in for Allison, but Jake wouldn't begin sleeping over on Friday nights for eight months. Allison and Jake liked this arrangement, and there was no need to change. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Arnold and Melissa weren't as lucky. They had one daughter, Nicole, age four. Arnold wanted Nicole to live with him every other weekend from Friday night until Sunday night. Melissa agreed, but Nicole did not do well with that schedule. She didn't want to leave her mother and would cry incessantly when her father came to pick her up. Even after she spent some time with her father, she was moody and complained she missed her mother. Bedtime was even worse. Arnold and Melissa tried a few more weekends with this schedule, but Nicole did not feel more comfortable. Arnold agreed to wait a few months and then start with one overnight for a while until Nicole got used to being away from her mother, and then work up to the entire weekend when Nicole turned six. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Michael and Anita had a teenage boy, John, who was not happy about the divorce. After his parents told him they were separating, John withdrew from both of them in sadness and anger. He just wanted to hang out with his friends and even arranged to stay at his best friend's house every chance he got. Michael and Anita had worked out a schedule where John would live with Michael for two weeks and then Anita for two weeks, but John didn't like the schedule. At first, Michael insisted that John follow the schedule to the letter, but John would not budge. Michael and Anita consulted an experienced therapist who worked with divorcing families. He |
|
|
|
|
|