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3. There is open conflict causing the children to appear to be aligned temporarily with one parent. |
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4. In rare cases, child abuse. |
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If your children don't want to leave their primary home to be with their other parent, having a good heart-to-heart is the first step. The problem may be one that can be easily resolved, such as more attention given the children by the noncustodial parent, a change in discipline style, or having more toys or other entertainment. |
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Either or both parents may unknowingly be causing the children's refusal to go. Following are two checklists, one for the custodial parent and the other for the noncustodial parent. Be honest. You're the only one looking at this. |
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1. I have done my best to encourage my children's visits with their other parent. |
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2. I do not give double messages to my children about seeing their other parent.___Yes___No |
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3. I make sure my children know that, although I miss them, I know they will be well-taken care of.___Yes___No |
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4. I tell my children I am fine when they're away.___Yes___No |
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5. I make sure to pack everything my children need, so their time with their other parent goes smoothly.___Yes___No |
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1. I understand it takes a while for my children to adjust to different surroundings, household rules, and customs. I don't pressure them to forget about their other parent when they're with me.___Yes___No |
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2. I make a mental note if, after a reasonable amount of time with me, my children are not adjusting.___Yes___No |
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3. I allow my children to speak to their other parent on the phone.___Yes___No |
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4. I don't do my work when my children are with me and are awake.___Yes___No |
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5. To stay involved with my children, I participate as much as possible in activities that center on their lives (Little League, dance class, play dates, and so on) instead of dragging them to things that are important to me but of no interest to them.___Yes___No |
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